I just had the very comforting thought that "I am not a mystery" to God. Even if I don't know what's going on with me, He does. I'm not lost. I'm very much found and seen.

(Was listening to the song "Mended" by Watermark)

I think I may have realized what's been wrong with me. I'm searching for God and don't feel like I've found Him. I keep searching in the quiet places- in the woods, on walks, etc. I do believe we can learn about God from being in nature, but if we want to see His face, to know Him, I believe I can find it in the faces of the poor, the sick, the widow, the orphan, the prisoner, the hungry, and the thirsty. I've been so discouraged because I feel like I can't find God. But maybe I've been looking in the wrong places.

I guess it makes sense that we should only expect to receive those things we ask from God that He has already promised us. At first, that sounds weird to me, like why? But when I think about it, if He is good and every good thing comes from Him, then the only way to ask for something that is good is to ask for something He's promised. There's nothing He's promised that isn't good. And nothing that's good that He hasn't promised....I think? That does at least help it make more sense. Sometimes I think it will build my faith if I get the things I ask Him for, but many of those things aren't things He's promised (directly or indirectly) or that are in His Will. When I don't get those things, it challenges my faith. But maybe the problem really is that I'm not asking for the things I'm supposed to be asking for or that I am asking things I shouldn't. I have heard something like that before. Maybe I need to change what I'm asking.