and now he contacts me. he says he misses me. it's exactly what i want to hear, but exactly what i know i don't need. and i have to brush him off. i didn't even tell him i missed him too. i showed no enthusiasm or concern for spending time with him. i know why, but he doesn't. i feel like a jerk. the last thing i want to do is hurt him. the thought of it makes me want to hide under a rock and just cry.