AGGHHHH my heart rages within me! i want to be sent, but i'm not willing to even discipline myself here. what have i to offer??! yet, my heart so longs to go!!!

Lord, change me. Fix me. Prepare me! You put this heart in me, it must not be for naught. I ache to go abroad. I don't even really know why. But i see the need and i want to help by being part of the solution. i see people in need and my heart longs to go to them. to be used by God for them. but i don't feel ready. i don't feel prepared. i'm not even consistent with reading my Bible. could i make it out there?

i'm excited for this spiritual discipline group this summer. "disciple" and "discipline" appear to have similar origins in meaning. i hope that by developing the spiritual disciplines in myself, i'll become a better disciple.

SELF MUST DIE!!!