Ooze

Two things: 1. I think I'm afraid to heal emotionally. I think I've come, on some levels, to identify myself by my pain and wounds and I'm really not sure who I'd be if they weren't there and if they didn't have such a grip on my life.
2. I think sometimes I need to let puss ooze a little. It's like there's an emotional infection inside of me and if I let it go for awhile all this puss and corruption builds up. So every now and then,  I need to press on it and let some of that flow out. That could be through a conversation or reading a book or something like the Emotionally Healthy Spirituality inventory I just took. Thinking about it a lot, gaining a little clarity, and sharing with others are all ways that I evacuate the wound. It seems lately I've been needing that a little more frequently than usual. It's like the infection is flaring up right now or something. I'm not sure what's causing that, but I find myself needing that outlet more often. I think I could really benefit from pouring some anti-septic in it to clean it out and bandage it up to help it heal properly. But that takes overcoming number 1. I'm not sure if I'm there yet. I want to be because I feel like I should be, but I still don't know if I can do it.